Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
