Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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