I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
