I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Can I color on your dick again?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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