Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so explain again why im purple
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to