I need help removing her.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.