I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
