You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.