Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
