I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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