what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
