i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
