I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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