??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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