we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
