Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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