and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
