we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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