moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize