You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
