If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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