After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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