I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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