Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
