go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
