How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
