he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
