just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
