definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
