She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
