Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
