you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
