I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Fuck appropriateness.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
