Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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