Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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