there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
