no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
