thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
