Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
