Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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