The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize