Fuck appropriateness.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
