my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
