We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
