my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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