Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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