You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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