I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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