Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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