i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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