Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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