The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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