i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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