just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
