dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
