Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
