I could have mohawked her pubes.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
