This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
