I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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