Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
