He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
