Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
