i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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