Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
